tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30103314739474239512024-03-12T16:25:56.346-07:00Jim Turner's Conservative ForwardsJim Turnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02403704785834954687noreply@blogger.comBlogger24125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3010331473947423951.post-7700201244823675102011-02-18T06:17:00.001-08:002011-02-18T06:28:24.316-08:00FWD: [DO-NUT News Digest vol. 123.34] re: re: er: AMERICA RUNS [ON] DUNKIN’<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wFSw10gj33M/TV5_oxmtJ8I/AAAAAAAAAFg/xp_MGE6Op1I/s1600/american-donut3.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 238px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wFSw10gj33M/TV5_oxmtJ8I/AAAAAAAAAFg/xp_MGE6Op1I/s320/american-donut3.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5575033727218427842" /></a><br /><br />Buried in Time-to-Make-the- Donuts-in-Chief Obama’s State of the Union address was his grand plan to NATIONALIZE our beloved AMERICAN institution DUNKIN’ DONUTS as a means of getting into the donut business!!!! The WHITE HOUSE plans to seize DD from Bain Capital, The Carlyle Group, and Thomas H. Lee Partners through a hostile takeover. Though initial reports indicate that bearer bonds may be exchanged, this is likely a rumor started by the Huffington Post. Speculations are running rampant on “The Hill,” but my guy (Bobby V. from Bobby Vee Fences and Wood , the guy who built my deck? His brother works at ABC-TV, Dallas.) tells me some CongressWoman, who ENJOY’s her job, dreamed the whole thing up on a dare.<br /> <br />The idea of a state-owned Dunkin’ is morally reprehensible, and not to mention a logistical and gastronomical nightmare. Can you imagine the ramifications?…!? My preliminary speculations have led me to believe that the DD menu will include sweeping changes that will include the removal of all donuts, bagels, muffins, and sausage patties that are over 1100 calories; the removal of all iced lattes with WHIPPED topping; the DRASTIC and HEAVILY INCREASED separation of all DD/Baskins’ and Robbins’ combos; and the replacement of all preformed egg patties with fresh, free-range eggs that are cracked to order and prepared to your specifications* AND personal eccentricities. Moving beyond my preliminary speculations, it has also been confirmed** that a new addition will be added to the regular DD value menu: the #13 – a plain stick with a medium “fair trade” coffee with soy milk and no sugar. There is no word yet on the future of Munchkins, though I hope to christ they remain the preferred treat of elementary school in-class parties.<br /><br />If there is a silver lining to this whole thing, DD will now carry <a href=”http://images.epk.com/muscle_milk.jpg”>Muscle Milk</a>.<br />I’m now convinced this tyranny of TYRANTS will never end! PLZ PSS THS ON!!!<br /><br />-Two Creams, Three Sugars!<br /><br />*Eggs or whites (which will be available at no extra cost) can be prepared scrambled, over easy, sunny side up, BUT NOT POACHED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!$@##!!!!<br /><br />**I have this part on good authority. I confirmed this with two credible sources. This has been confirmed by both the now deceased <a href=”http://gratitudeplanet.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/Fred_the_Baker.jpeg “>Michael Vale</a> and the guy who works the counter at my local DD who I think is named Paneer.Jim Turnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02403704785834954687noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3010331473947423951.post-40558387649275697872011-02-08T10:32:00.000-08:002011-02-18T06:29:47.170-08:00Re: I'm Back FWD: re :re: Jim has RETURNED!Jim asked me to post this..... ... . .. ....<br /><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:officedocumentsettings> <o:allowpng/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:donotpromoteqf/> 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10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} </style> <![endif]--> <p style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);" class="MsoNormal">Since I’m aware many of you have been Googling “<b style="">Jim Turner tax problems</b>,” I feel it is incumbent on me to explain my mysterious silence. See, I was fired in March of 2007 from my position as an INDEPENDENT CONTRACTOR after several <i style=""><u>disagreements</u></i> (which ranged from physical to violent) with both my bosses and my clients. Recognizing a gaping hole in the internet junk reselling market, I began hitting every tag sale, rummage sale, swap meet, stoop sale, garage sale, Goodwill, thrift shop, Bradlees, and police auction in and around New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Delaware, Georgia, Florida, and Ohio in an effort to find items like cutlery, flatware, cassingles, empty CD jewel cases, slightly worn over coats, galoshes, bolts of fabric, paint cans (anywhere from full to half-empty), and broken table saws. This became quite <b style=""><u>lucrative</u></b>. I’ll give you just one example. <span style=""> </span>I was just outside of Croton-on-Hudson, New York not far from Hudson National Golf Course one chilly October afternoon when I spotted what appeared to be a killer tag sale already in progress. I pulled my Ford F-150 to the side of the road to have a look. Low and behold I spot an <b style="">Ace Frehley Signature Model Les Paul</b>. The guy wanted $11,000 grand for it but I talked him down to $10,500. I then quickly flipped it on Ebay for a <b style="">COOL $11,000!!!</b></p> <p style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);" class="MsoNormal">Between April 2007 and August of 2010, I grossed somewhere between $58,000 and $62,900. As you can imagine, I declared none of the income. I NEVER HAVE AND I NEVER WILL!!. It’s a matter of principal and personal taste and preference…and also cause it’s mine. Somehow the Feds caught wind of this and was I subsequently audited. The I.R.S (or Invasive Rectum Service) decreed that I owed $497.00 in back taxes. This angered me, to say the least, and also nearly wiped me out. <span style=""> </span>My accountant, who also happens to be me, recommended I pay the Feds in order to avoid a <b style="">POSSIBLE</b>, though highly unlikely (or impossible), <b style="">JAIL</b> sentence. The Feds hefty thievery resulted in my being unable to make payments on my Ford F-150, which was kinda like the one <a href="http://s2.desktopmachine.com/pics/Ford_F150-harley_2007_03_1024x768.jpg">pictured here </a> but way more badass. The repo man came and <b style=""><i style=""><u>tried</u></i></b> to repossess it but was ultimately successful. We got into both a literal and figurative fistfight when I attempted to stop him. When the county sheriff showed up, I argued it was unlawful to repossess a vehicle that was currently residing on my private property. <b style=""><u>No dice</u></b>. It was a bit of a double whammy, too, as I had some carpet swatches in the back that I was close to selling to a local carpet store. So, long story short……I kinda bottomed out. </p> <p style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);" class="MsoNormal">So I flew to Antigua, opened a bar, refilled my coffers, and returned to the States. <span style=""> </span></p> <p style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);" class="MsoNormal">Thank you and I’m back. </p> <span style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">Oh, and I’ve also watched a shit-ton of that show “Pawn Stars” on the History Channel. Chumlee cracks me up. Did you see the one where he bought a hot air balloon?</span>Captain Crosbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14571687912698315362noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3010331473947423951.post-57049066810244699712010-09-03T11:04:00.000-07:002010-09-09T06:30:23.920-07:00Re: FWD: RE: [rotowire.com] Football: Fwd: TEN YARD FIGHT!!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_negqkyvCRDY/TIjhSWoHWKI/AAAAAAAAAFQ/VAj35pfL8Tg/s1600/000-3d-model-pica_nfl_football_field_.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 200px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_negqkyvCRDY/TIjhSWoHWKI/AAAAAAAAAFQ/VAj35pfL8Tg/s200/000-3d-model-pica_nfl_football_field_.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5514905449142900898" border="0" /></a>
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<![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal; color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:130%;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal; color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:130%;" >To <b>ALL</b> pro and college football fans: Ochocinco-in-Chief Obama has <b><u>UNILATERALLY</u></b> formed a secret, <b>UNTRACEABLE</b> cabal with NFL commissioner Roger Goodall, the wife of former NFLPA Executive Director Gene Upshaw, and Adam "Pac-Man" Jones. The group is charged with altering the NFL rulebook "by any means necessary."<o:p></o:p>
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<br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal; color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:130%;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal; color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:130%;" >According to a man I talked to claiming to be ESPN’s John Clayton<sup>*</sup>, the rules changes consist of three (“3”) prongs – clock management adjustments and challenge manipulations, field and equipment alterations, and playbook mandates. Clock management adjustments and challenge manipulations include the lengthening of the play clock to <b><i>45 seconds</i></b> and a moratorium on timeouts called with 5 seconds or less on the play clock. Also, plays in which the “<b>TUCK RULE</b>” come into play can no longer be challenged nor officially reviewed by the booth. Field and equipment alterations include instructions to all grounds crews to cut field grass no lower than <b><i>2 inches</i></b>. Plus, the circumference of each goal post will be increased by 18 inches. The playbook mandates mandate that <b>EVERY</b> team include 1 <b>WISHBONE</b> formation-based play and 1 <b>OPTION</b> play in their official team playbooks.<sup>^</sup><o:p></o:p>
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<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal; color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:130%;" >I, for one, am pretty <b>P.O.’d</b> about these changes. I have a nagging suspicion many other <b>AMERICAns</b> aren’t going to be on-board with these changes to our <b><i>NATIONAL PASTIME</i></b>… So I’m calling on every on to meet me at the Heinz Field parking lot before the Steelers home opener on Sept. 12<sup>th</sup> to tell Terrell Owens-in-Chief Obama that we say “No!” to his rule changes.<sup># </sup>PLZ FWD: this to your 12 closest American football loving friends!!<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal; color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:130%;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal; color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">
<br /><span style=";font-family:";font-size:130%;" > </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal; color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:130%;" >-jacklambertfan4eva@hotmail.com<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal; color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:130%;" >Go Steelers, Go Iron City!<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal; color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:130%;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal; color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:130%;" >
<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal; color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:130%;" >*This impostor could not provide official NFL press credentials upon request.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal; color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:130%;" >^Coaches are under no obligation to call these plays, and upon a showing of good cause, may exclude such plays in electronic copies of their playbook.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal;"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:12pt;" ><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">#These rule changes are scheduled to take effect in 2011 and do not apply to the playoffs.</span></span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style=";font-family:";" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:";" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <span style="line-height: 115%; color: rgb(102, 51, 0);font-family:";font-size:130%;" ></span>Jim Turnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02403704785834954687noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3010331473947423951.post-11095032132343365292010-08-31T08:29:00.000-07:002010-09-01T08:15:27.489-07:00FWD: [redstate.com]: Re: Re: Regarding: DISGUSTING “GREEN” Jjobs Initiative<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_6t2OcDi4eiY/TH1A4WpmrYI/AAAAAAAAABA/my49TEjcqcM/s1600/van+jones+country+club.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 190px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_6t2OcDi4eiY/TH1A4WpmrYI/AAAAAAAAABA/my49TEjcqcM/s320/van+jones+country+club.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5511632855868288386" border="0" /></a><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal; color: rgb(153, 0, 0);"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:100%;" >ATTN: The Obama Administration and those <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">members</span> of Congress have authorized, approved, and sanctioned the use of <span style="font-weight: bold;">PRIVATE MONEY</span> for the building of a public golf country club in honor of “Van” Jones, Obama’s former Special Advisor for Green Jobs and reputed <a href="http://www.sustainablestyle.org/recognition-inspiration/2008-best-dressed-environmental-list/">snazzy dresser</a>. The yet-to-be-built golf course, which will include a fully-stocked pro shop, driving range and putting green, is part of the <span style="font-weight: bold;">SEVERANCE</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">PACKAGE</span> Jones received after resigning for the Obama Administration. A <span>modest and possibly </span><span style="font-weight: bold;">PRIVATE</span> groundbreaking ceremony was held at the proposed northern Virginia site sometime between October 2009 and January 2010. Internet sources confirm that PGA Tour great Calvin Peete was in attendance while Tiger Woods <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">failed</span> to RSVP.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal; color: rgb(153, 0, 0);"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:100%;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal; color: rgb(153, 0, 0);"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:100%;" >This Rees Jones (no relation) designed course has been described as “treacherous” by several golf commentators. According to someone I talked to on the phone at Rees Jones, Inc. Golf Course Design, the course received a course rating of 76.9.* This <span style="font-weight: bold;">UNNAMED SOURCE</span> was also polite enough to fax me a copy of the layout. It is a 7,400 yard par 70. The first hole is a 440 yard par 4. Bunkers line the fairway landing area. Two bunkers guard the front of the green. Number 2 is a 529 yard par 5. It is reachable in two setting up perhaps the only eagle opportunity on the course. Watch the front bunkers guarding the green. Number 3 is a 200 yard par 3. The green slopes back to front. Any balls landing on the left side of the green are likely to roll into the green side bunkers. The 4th is a 446 yard par 4 dogleg left. Players who get pull-happy off the tee may find themselves in one of the many bunkers on the left while a slice could land you in the trees on the right. Bunkers dot the area surrounding the green. Number 5 is a 490 yard par 4. A creek runs through the fairway some 300 yards from the tee. Aim for the center of the green as anything landing on the edges is going to roll off. Number 6 is a 387 yard par 4. A large bunker juts into the fairway making for a tight landing area for those taking driver off the tee. Beware the pot bunker off the front right of the green. Number 7 is a 449 yard par 4. A pond on the right and a row of bunkers on the left make this a difficult but necessary fairway to hit. The green is yet to be designed. Number 8 is a 491 yard par 4. This hole is fairly straightforward: <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">tee it high and let it fly!</span> The close of the front 9 is a devilishly long 257 yard par 3. Better to be short here than long. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal; color: rgb(153, 0, 0);"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:100%;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal; color: rgb(153, 0, 0);"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:100%;" >There will be a modest snack bar at the turn offering hot dogs, candy bars, and several flavors of Gatorade.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal; color: rgb(153, 0, 0);"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:100%;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal; color: rgb(153, 0, 0);"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:100%;" >A 462 yard par 4 starts the back 9 followed by a tight 423 yard par 4. Number 12 is the second of two par 5s. Again, bunkers on the left and trees on the right put hitting the fairway at a premium. 593 yards in length a deep bunkers sitting in the front the green making going for two here almost impossible for anyone not named Tiger Woods. Number 13 is a 191 yard par 3. The green is completely surrounded by bunkers and a mound on the right forces any balls landing in that area off the green. 14 is a 501 yard par 4. Length is the challenge on this hole. Number 15 is a 401 yard par 4. There are two bunkers smack dead in the center of the fairway forcing most players to lay up. Number 16 is a 406 yard par 4. A large water hazard comes into play on both the drive and the approach. But overcompensating will get you in trouble as trees line the left-hand side of the fairway and bunkers sit to the right of the green. The 17th is a 238 yard par 3. The huge green slopes front to back. A three putt here is a definitely possibility. And finally, there’s the 18th. This one is “<span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">THE BEAST</span>.” To call it the “<span style="font-weight: bold;">p</span><span style=""><span style="font-weight: bold;">ièce de résistance</span>” would be wicked. </span>It’s a 498 yard par 4 dogleg right. There are bunkers everywhere and trees on the right that keep you from cutting the corner off the tee. Par here is a tremendous way to end your round.<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal; color: rgb(153, 0, 0);"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:100%;" >The 19<sup>th</sup> hole (we’ve all been there, right!?) will include a tremendous bar and grille. There will be 14 beers on tap, numerous imported and domestic bottles, fine wines, and all manner of burgers to eat. Many delicious salads, including a caesar salad with grilled chicken, will also be available for your dining pleasure.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal; color: rgb(153, 0, 0);"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:100%;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal; color: rgb(153, 0, 0);"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:100%;" >The course is scheduled for completion <span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">SOMETIME IN 2011!!</span>...<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal; color: rgb(153, 0, 0);"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:100%;" >“Van” Jones is neither an investor nor will his name be in any way associated with the course. There is no word yet on whether Jones plans on becoming a member nor have I been able to confirm whether Mr. Jones even <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">ENJOYS</span> the pleasures of <span style="font-weight: bold;">A GOOD WALK SPOILED</span>!<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal; color: rgb(153, 0, 0);"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:100%;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal; color: rgb(153, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:100%;" >-The Ball Striker</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal; font-style: italic; color: rgb(153, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:100%;" >“My family is my love but golf is my passion!”<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal; color: rgb(153, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:100%;" ><span style="font-style: italic;">-Arnold “Arnie’s Army” Palmer</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal; color: rgb(153, 0, 0);"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:100%;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal;"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:12pt;" ><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);font-size:100%;" >*Rating contingent upon completion of course construction.</span><o:p></o:p></span></p>Captain Crosbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14571687912698315362noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3010331473947423951.post-69224008615205435532010-08-06T13:32:00.000-07:002010-08-06T14:14:07.509-07:00Fwd: FWD: Fw: Re: Fwd: [NO TRESPASSING] The False Prophet<div><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_negqkyvCRDY/TFxyEmL0wTI/AAAAAAAAAEg/-a-T_9fP_OU/s1600/hc-romania-saint.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 238px; height: 320px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_negqkyvCRDY/TFxyEmL0wTI/AAAAAAAAAEg/-a-T_9fP_OU/s320/hc-romania-saint.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5502398268035088690" /></a><p class="MsoNormal"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#339999;">We all know that “Fresh Prince” Obama, Esq., is in love with himself – but now EVEN HE has outdone himself!! Two POORLY PAID, OFF THE BOOKS INTERNS in our MAGINALLY SUCCESSFUL Investigative Journalism Department, whose identities we are not at liberty to disclose at this time, have exposed documents which ARGUABLY OBLIQUELY COMPARE OBAMA TO A (CHRISTIAN) SAINT!!! The implication is PAINFULLY OBVIOUS – Obama considers himself to be a saint, and therefore has instructed the PENTAGON and the SUPREME COURT to take all formal steps necessary for him to SUBMIT AN ELECTRONIC APPLICATION FOR FAST-TRACK BEATIFICATION!! NOT SURPRISINGLY, Pope Benedict’s BEMUSED press secretary has informed us via internal Skype mega-conference that he is not aware of any such application, and that no such process is currently available.</span></span></i></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#339999;"> </span></span></i></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#339999;">Of course, “Saint” Obama has submitted his application (via certified mail) in order to pad his already ENORMOUS EGO.* But his ultimate motives are ultimately EXCLUSIVELY FINANCIAL. Judging by recent experience, a successful application for accelerated sainthood would entitle him to a modest stipend, a Ph.D. in Strategic Marketing from the University of Phoenix (with a concentration in Inventory Process Control), a commercial drivers’ license (CDL), and a LIFE-TIME FINDERS’ FEE!!! This would be the most blatant violation of the SEPARATION OF POWERS since the DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE!!!</span></span></i></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#339999;"> </span></span></i></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#339999;">This process, the details of which have yet to be fully hammered out, is likely to begin next November, so as not to interfere with the White House’s Halloween preparations. Encrypted transmissions unlawfully intercepted by our largely unsuccessful Communications Security Department indicate that John Lennon-in-Chief Obama plans to appear as Nicky Santoro (Joe Pesci’s character in </span></span></i></b><i><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#339999;">Casino</span></span></b></i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#339999;">). And according to our WILDLY unsuccessful Procedural Controls Department, this can ONLY mean Yoko-in-Chief Michelle will be dressing as Ginger McKenna (Sharon Stone's character in </span></span></i></b><i><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#339999;">Casino</span></span></b></i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#339999;">).** This gives us plenty of time to organize a modest and well-mannered GATHERING to PREVENT THIS OUTRAGE. CHECK BACK OFTEN to participate in our upcoming REFRESHMENT REFERENDUM!!!***</span></span></i></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#339999;"> </span></span></i></b></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#339999;">*Obama’s check for the $45 sainthood application fee has yet to clear.</span></span></i></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#339999;">**No word yet on who will dress as Billy Sherbert (Don Rickles' character in </span></span></i></b><i><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#339999;">Casino</span></span></b></i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#339999;">), but, if you'll allow </span></span></i></b><i><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#339999;">me</span></span></b></i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#339999;"> to speculate for a sec, my guess is 27-term Congressman from Michigan John Dingell. </span></span></i></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#339999;"> </span></span></i></b></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#339999;">***</span></span></i></b><st1:place st="on"><st1:city st="on"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#339999;">Corona</span></span></i></b></st1:city></st1:place><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#339999;"> has emerged as the early favorite for the beer selection.</span></span></i></b></p>Jim Turnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02403704785834954687noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3010331473947423951.post-79926061995762172372010-08-03T13:31:00.000-07:002010-08-03T15:33:48.360-07:00DON'T MESS WITH TEX-MEX!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_negqkyvCRDY/TFgh16Z2fkI/AAAAAAAAAEY/C8wx8eJ9LxI/s1600/texmex.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 119px; height: 123px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_negqkyvCRDY/TFgh16Z2fkI/AAAAAAAAAEY/C8wx8eJ9LxI/s320/texmex.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5501184154927529538" border="0" /></a><br /><p style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);" class="MsoNormal">TEJAS food lovers UNITE! Self-anointed 3-Michelin Star chef-in-chief Obama wants to issue a semi-formal proclamation <span style="font-weight: bold;">REDEFINING TEX-MEX</span> cuisine. It was the <i>Oxford English Dictionary</i> that first defined Tex-Mex cuisine in 1963 as, “foods from South Texas that incorporate a ton of cheese, healthy helpings of beans, and spices to taste.” Now Obama wants to literally piss on this great Tex-Mex tradition. If Obama gets his way, he will remove ANY and ALL references to Tex-Mex cuisine in cookbooks, guidebooks, rest-stop signage etc.<br /></p> <p style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);" class="MsoNormal">"Prince" Obama plans to issue this hypo-formal proclamation during a culinary presentation and demonstration at <span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Celebrate Texas Week</span>. This is known to Texans all over as the week we come together to eat, drink, and bask in the glory of our <span style="font-weight: bold;">SUN BELT PARADISE</span>. The proclamation makes mention of the "rich culinary tradition representing the many cultures of Texas." This is some classic multi-cultural bullspit so allow me to translate - <span style="font-weight: bold;">O'beaner</span> is planning to remove any and all Texas from what we've come to know and love as Tex-Mex. This will leave us with nothin' but Mexican "food."* Tex-Mex isn't about slow-cooked moles and dynamic flavor profiles. It's about men challenging each other to eat peppers so hot they could cause INTENSE DISCOMFORT to the eyes, ears, nose, <span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">and</span> throat.<br /></p><p style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);" class="MsoNormal">Though this is a <span style="font-style: italic;">certifiable </span>NATIONAL TRAGEDY on the level of the XYZ AFFAIR, I do have some good news to report. We are planning a shadow presentation to coincide with Obama's issuing of this total miscarriage of food justice he's calling a "proclamation." I am 98% certain <span style="font-weight: bold;">ZZ TOP</span> (!!!) will be headlining our shadow presentation.** They are scheduled to perform both <span style="font-style: italic;">Tres Hombres</span> and <span style="font-style: italic;">Tejas</span> in their entirety, plus do an encore set of hits like "Sleeping Bag," "TV Dinners," and "Pearl Necklace."<br /></p> <p style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);" class="MsoNormal">Please do your civic duty and write him a letter, affix the stamp to the envelope with a droplet of BBQ SAUCE, address it to 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. (cross streets are E. Executive Way and W. Executive Way), and mail the letter from a <span style="font-size:100%;">TEXAS</span> (or <span style="font-size:180%;">TEXAS-SIZED</span>) United States Post Office.</p><p style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);" class="MsoNormal">-Tommy Tejas, The Boarder Patrolman</p><p style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);" class="MsoNormal">*I contacted BBQ'd Gut Meats in San Antonio and Succulent Pork Cravers in Rio Grande for comment. Both head chefs declined to comment other than to say they were not aware of the proclamation.<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">**Repeated calls to ZZ Top's booking agent were not answered. Warner Bros. Records was polite enough to inform me that The Top was no longer with their label and that they did not have any forwarding info for them. I did, however, obtain what I believe to be Frank Beard's e-mail address (nonbearedone@fandango.com). I am awaiting a response.</span> <span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">We intend to take prompt legal action against them shall they fail to appear.</span><br /></p>Jim Turnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02403704785834954687noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3010331473947423951.post-9459825404949640942010-07-30T06:25:00.000-07:002010-08-06T14:15:36.811-07:00The Pen is Truly COSTLIER than the Sword!!!<div><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_negqkyvCRDY/TFLTeCvhqEI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/D35mLMAYfgU/s1600/Moon_Team_Action.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 225px; height: 275px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_negqkyvCRDY/TFLTeCvhqEI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/D35mLMAYfgU/s320/Moon_Team_Action.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5499690608058542146" /></a><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153); "><i><b>Ayatollah Von Obama is at it again...</b></i></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#000099;"><o:p><i><b> </b></i></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#000099;"><i><b>Unbeknownst to Congress, the Supreme Court, or local law enforcement agencies, President Obama has just accepted an out of court settlement approving a new “SECRET STIMULUS” (H.R. Bill 2159) to be duly enacted through State & Local legislatures.. All documents relating to the settlement are classified, so no documentation of any kind will be available to the general public for some time. But if he thinks he can fool WE THE PEOPLE, well, he’s got another thing coming!!!<o:p></o:p></b></i></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#500050;"><i><b> </b></i><i><b><o:p></o:p></b></i></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#000099;"><i><b>Remember the BRIDGE TO NOWHERE & THE INVISIBLE ZOO in Obama’s last stimulus??? Well this one’s EVEN WORSE! The new law authorizes the creation of a new Federal agency called the OFFICE OF THE INTERIOR to submit a purchase order for A COLLECTOR’S EDITION QUILL PEN!! COMRADE SHEIK OBAMA will likely use this pen to sign UNDESIRABLE LEGISLATION & to pen personal correspondence. WORSE STILL – leaked micro-reports indicate that HUSSEIN OBAMA plans to use the pen to CENSOR PRIVATE CITIZENS’ MAIL!!! Yes folks, you read that right… Obama will use this Pen to follow through with his campaign promise to EDIT OUR LETTERS for spelling, grammar, & style.. It is not clear at this time whether the pen will have ELECTRONIC CAPABILITIES OR any other extraordinary features.</b></i></span><span style="color:black;"><i><b><o:p></o:p></b></i></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#000099;"><o:p><i><b> </b></i></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#000099;"><i><b>And who has he appointed to run this new AGENCY-TO-NOWHERE??? Yup, who else!!? </b></i><st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on"><i><b>WARREN</b></i></st1:place></st1:city><i><b> MOON. It’ll be just like before - only instead of flicking FIRST DOWNS & INTs to Ernest Givins & Haywood Jeffires, he’ll be SUBMITTING AN ORDER FOR THE PURCHASE OF A QUILL PEN.</b></i></span><span style="color:#500050;"><i><b><o:p></o:p></b></i></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#000099;"><o:p><i><b> </b></i></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#000099;"><i><b>How much is this whole boondoggle going to COST?? The administration REFUSES to provide any receipts, account numbers, passwords, OR any other documentation relating to the purchase, & NO OFFICIAL SCORING of the bill is currently available on the CBO website. BUT YOU DO THE MATH. The costs will include the purchase price of the pen, the cost of any related investigative journalism, & the cost of REWRITING THE ENTIRE TAX CODE!!!</b></i></span><span style="color:black;"><i><b><o:p></o:p></b></i></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#000099;"><o:p><i><b> </b></i></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#000099;"><i><b>And who’s going to pay THE BILL for all this??? WE THE TAXPAYERS. Obama thinks he CAN TREAD ON US & WRITE ALL OVER US. WE THE PEOPLE need to get out the vote this November to DEFEAT THIS BILL!!!!!</b></i></span><span style="color:black;"><o:p></o:p></span></p>Jim Turnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02403704785834954687noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3010331473947423951.post-31344288380212609792010-07-28T10:31:00.000-07:002010-07-29T12:43:42.998-07:00FUNNY - Stupid Liberal Jokes: No. 119!!!<span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 102); font-style: italic;">Q: How many liberals does it take to screw in a light bulb?</span> <span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 102); font-style: italic;"><br /></span><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 102); font-style: italic;"><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_6t2OcDi4eiY/TFHWc04kUyI/AAAAAAAAAA4/q_7HUkOqyLo/s1600/BULBMAN.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 226px; height: 320px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_6t2OcDi4eiY/TFHWc04kUyI/AAAAAAAAAA4/q_7HUkOqyLo/s320/BULBMAN.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5499412410716672802" border="0" /></a><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 102); font-style: italic;">A: Well, after their 11 month bitch session about which bulb is the most energy efficient, it would likely take 1 to hold the ladder, another to screw in the bulb and yet another to "supervise" the operation. But one thing's for sure, the whole affair would be at taxpayer expense.</span>Captain Crosbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14571687912698315362noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3010331473947423951.post-32489983008878380762010-07-27T06:20:00.000-07:002010-07-27T13:13:38.259-07:00Re: RE: Re: HTTP:// [TOWAWAY ZONE] FWD: Damning NSA Watchlist Obtained! Patriots Unite!<span style="color: rgb(0, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;font-size:130%;" >It’s official – Barack HUSSEIN Obama is a government (soon-to-be) CONVICTED TERRORIST!! While Conservative and values-based Americans have long suspected the terrorist-in-chief Obama to be an islamo-fascist and BIN LADEN sympathizer, we were missing that </span><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;font-size:130%;" >SMOKING GUN</span><span style="color: rgb(0, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;font-size:130%;" >. Fortunately, the Tea Party group Sons of the Children of the Constitution Crafters, LLC launched a widespread, thorough, and deep-impacting investigation into the matter. Finally, on a recent public tour of the White House, Tea Party patriot </span><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;font-size:130%;" >CAGNEY CRISP</span><span style="color: rgb(0, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;font-size:130%;" > pulled the document seen below, an NSA </span><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;font-size:130%;" >TERRORIST WATCHLIST</span><span style="color: rgb(0, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;font-size:130%;" >, off a pile of papers sitting next to the infamous custom-made White House paper shredder, the PULP ANNIHILATOR X600-1.</span><span style="color: rgb(0, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;font-size:130%;" ><br /><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(0, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;font-size:130%;" >After numerous attempts to forward the document to ALL the major news outlets and getting REJECTED by every last one (including Mad Money), we have been forced to GO PUBLIC and hit the WORLD WEB with the biggest bombshell since <span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">LONG FORM GATE</span>.</span><span style="color: rgb(0, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;font-size:130%;" ><br /><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(0, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;font-size:130%;" >In fact, Obama poses a threat so great to our NATION’S children, well-being, and national security that he considered turning HIMSELF in during the 2008 campaign. What kind of mushroom cloud threat is our NATION under when terrorists are turning in their terrorist brethren?!? We also have NO DOUBT that Obama is on the NSA’s no-fly list. However, after filing numerous </span><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;font-size:130%;" >FOIA</span><span style="color: rgb(0, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;font-size:130%;" > requests (at an average rate of 14 a day for SEVERAL months), we were told, “we’ll get back to you” and “please stop calling us.” BUT STOP CALLING WE WILL NOT! The 1st Amendment </span><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;font-size:130%;" >EXPLICITLY</span><span style="color: rgb(0, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;font-size:130%;" > protects my right to make as many phone calls to whomever I want, AT ANY AND ALL HOURS OF THE DAY!!</span><span style="color: rgb(0, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;font-size:130%;" ><br /><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(0, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;font-size:130%;" >Please, we need </span><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;font-size:130%;" >your</span><span style="color: rgb(0, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;font-size:130%;" > help. If you “know people,” please have them get in touch with us. We have “</span><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;font-size:130%;" >BIG PLANS</span><span style="color: rgb(0, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;font-size:130%;" >.” Also, forward this to 19 national patriots. It’s up to you – the defenders of </span><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;font-size:130%;" >CLASSIC AMERICA</span><span style="color: rgb(0, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;font-size:130%;" > – to keep our message of hope and faith alive.</span><span style="color: rgb(0, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;font-size:130%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(0, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;font-size:130%;" >-Cagney Crisp, Chairman of the Sons of the Children of the Constitution Crafters, LLC</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_wgT7EMzEDA0/TE7fzuWhbHI/AAAAAAAAAB4/atULBKZhOeo/s1600/watchlist.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 308px; height: 400px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_wgT7EMzEDA0/TE7fzuWhbHI/AAAAAAAAAB4/atULBKZhOeo/s400/watchlist.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5498578274774772850" border="0" /></a>Jim Turnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02403704785834954687noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3010331473947423951.post-4791639268330672962010-06-08T10:44:00.000-07:002010-07-27T13:12:36.292-07:00Re: [CHEAP VIAGRA] FWD: Re: [PROOF OF PURCHASE]: THE END OF LIBERTY (ISLAND) IN AMERICA!!!<div><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_negqkyvCRDY/TA6FSJThDyI/AAAAAAAAADw/9UG4gsrsOQA/s1600/statue_of_liberty.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 214px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_negqkyvCRDY/TA6FSJThDyI/AAAAAAAAADw/9UG4gsrsOQA/s320/statue_of_liberty.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5480464343338389282" border="0" /></a><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">The Statue of Liberty is of course one of the most important symbols of American Liberty in the ENTIRE WORLD. Although it is not accessible to the general public, and its True Value is therefore difficult to ascertain, most independent appraisal professionals will tell you that the Statue is EXTREMELY VALUABLE.* However, in a blatant effort to ERODE OUR NATIONAL SPIRIT, GANGBANGER Obama plans to RAISE LIBERTY ISLAND’S ANCHOR and SET IT ADRIFT!!!</span></span></div><div> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">Doing this would give rise to two (2), and only two (2), distinct maritime possibilities. First, the Statue could float UPSTREAM into the East River**, where, barring any unforeseen developments, She would almost certainly clear the Brooklyn Bridge, the Manhattan Bridge, the Williamsburg Bridge, the Queensboro Bridge, all three spans of the RFK (formerly Triboro) Bridge including the Hell Gate Bridge, the Harlem Lift Bridge, and the Bronx Kill Crossing, the Bronx-Whitesone Bridge, and the Throgs Neck Bridge. With any luck, she will avoid the Francis R. Buono Memorial (</span></span><st1:place st="on"><st1:placename st="on"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">Rikers</span></span></st1:placename><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);"> </span></span><st1:placetype st="on"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">Island</span></span></st1:placetype></st1:place><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">) Bridge entirely.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);"><u>Maritime Scenario #1</u></span></b></p></div><div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_negqkyvCRDY/TA6FLhD9ooI/AAAAAAAAADo/0ZQ33qB0fWE/s1600/trip1+copy.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 224px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_negqkyvCRDY/TA6FLhD9ooI/AAAAAAAAADo/0ZQ33qB0fWE/s320/trip1+copy.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5480464229456519810" border="0" /></a><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);">If this were to happen, tens of thousands of PATRIOTIC AMERICANS would almost certainly flock to the River’s Shores. Upon their timely arrival, they would witness the ALMOST IMPOSSIBLY IMPROBABLE spectacle, as Lady Liberty floated MAJESTICALLY upriver and ultimately into the Long Island Sound. The Statue may be visible to onlookers in Long Island and/or </span></span><st1:place st="on"><st1:state st="on"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);">Connecticut (although we cannot guarantee this)</span></span></st1:state></st1:place><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);">, and MAY EVEN BRIEFLY ENTER Bill Joel’s BLOCK ISLAND SOUND. The precise number of photographs to be taken by on-lookers is difficult to gauge at this juncture (the modern digital SLRs that enable amateur photographers to take upwards of hundreds of millions of photos a minute, and the ever increasing size of flash card storage capabilities, make any attempt at even a conservative estimate impossible and, quite possibly, unlawful).The whole event could give rise to numerous practical difficulties which I am not prepared to describe at this time. But I will say this much -parking is SURE to be a “nightmare" and refreshments WILL be sold at a minimum 350% mark-up.***</span></span></div><div> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);">Second, the Statue could simply flow out into the bay to become SHAMELESSLY lodged in THE NOTORIOUS SANDY HOOK, leaving Her to be DEVOURED by barnacles, sea creatures, and other harmless CREATURES OF THE SEA.**** Which outcome will ultimately be realized is UNCERTAIN AT THIS TIME.</span></span></p></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);">Maritime Scenario #2</span></u></b></div><div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_negqkyvCRDY/TA6FHJWg62I/AAAAAAAAADg/59oMPvYbliE/s1600/trip2.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 271px; height: 320px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_negqkyvCRDY/TA6FHJWg62I/AAAAAAAAADg/59oMPvYbliE/s320/trip2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5480464154372402018" border="0" /></a><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);font-size:large;" >Of course, there are COUNTLESS OTHER POSSIBILITIES, most of which involve the Statue getting caught in THE JET’S STREAM and ending up far out to sea. Under any imaginable scenario, maintaining RADIO CONTACT with Lady Liberty would be NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE, and she would eventually become an OLD SEAFARERS’ LEGEND.*****</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);">PLEASE JOIN US in taking decisive action!!! As incessant attempts to contact the NYPD and Rahm Emmanuel have failed to yield concrete results, we’ve decided to TAKE MATTERS INTO OUR OWN HANDS. We intend to build a NEW & IMPROVED LIBERTY ANCHOR to augment and reinforce the current anchor, although this plan is to remain STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL at this time. And though National Park Service officials have been lukewarm at best (if not OUTRIGHT HOSTILE) in their response to our offer (insisting that the island requires no anchor at this time), and have stated in no uncertain terms that any attempt to bring a GIANT WROUGHT-IRON ANCHOR on to Liberty Island would lead to our prompt arrest and prosecution, we INTEND TO COURAGEOUSLY MOVE FORWARD to defend our nation’s interest. And rest assured, we have also devised a top-secret contingency plan in the event that ETERNAL FLAME EXTINGUISHER Obama succeeds in setting LADY LIBERTY adrift. The plan involves coaxing “Hero of the Hudson” Chesley “SULLY” Sullenberger out of retirement – by ANY MEANS NECESSARY****** to pilot a nonfunctioning replica of a turn-of-the-century tug boat. Few, if any, know the waters that surround </span></span><st1:place st="on"><st1:city st="on"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);">Manhattan</span></span></st1:city></st1:place><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);"> better than Sullenberger, and we are confident he would be the man to return LADY LIBERTY to her rightful resting place.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);">JOIN US that we may rescue our GREAT NATION’S VERY SOUL!!!</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);"> </span></span></o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);">-</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);">An Independent Contractor</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);"> </span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);"> </span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);">*We have made NO effort of ANY KIND to contact any such professionals.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);">**Most (all) experts agree that this is astronomically unlikely.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);">***Outside food and beverages will be STRICTLY prohibited.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);">****Most (all) experts agree that this is astronomically unlikely.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);">*****Naturally, modern satellite technology would make it easy to pinpoint the exact location of Statue.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);">******Despite our EXHAUSTIVE search, we do not have a current address, phone number, or e-mail for Sullenberger. Any help on this front would be greatly appreciated.</span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p></div>Jim Turnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02403704785834954687noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3010331473947423951.post-3665982054180536202010-06-02T11:29:00.000-07:002010-07-27T13:09:55.468-07:00Obama’s “GREEN” CAR GRAB!!!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_negqkyvCRDY/TAaj8mYcQAI/AAAAAAAAACw/2ICbtb-npQs/s1600/treatme-net-mudzerella-monster-truck-driving-for-2.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 280px; height: 280px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_negqkyvCRDY/TAaj8mYcQAI/AAAAAAAAACw/2ICbtb-npQs/s320/treatme-net-mudzerella-monster-truck-driving-for-2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5478246258233327618" border="0" /></a><b><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><b><b><b></b></b></b></span></p><b><b><b><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline ! important;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 0, 153);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><br /></span></span></i></span></p></b></b></b></b><div><b><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline ! important;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 0, 153);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">OBAMA & PELOSI continue to use the “environment” as an excuse to further their STALINIST agenda to CONFISCATE our money, our guns, and now – our CARS. We have it on GOOD AUTHORITY that these criminals have an ORAL AGREEMENT to seize our cars and make us PAY to make them more “environmentally friendly.”</span></span></span></i></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"></span></span></p><p></p><p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 0, 153);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"> </span></span></span></i></o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline ! important;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 0, 153);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">The plan goes like this. ARMED Federal agents will, upon receipt of your signed & notarized authorization, SEIZE your personal vehicle* and take it to the nearest reputable body shop. THERE, the agents will relay orders for any “qualifying modifications” you may request. For a NOMINAL CHARGE, the fully qualified automotive professionals will be FORCED** to install one or more of the following on your automobile: TINTED WINDSHIELDS & WINDOWS, DECALS, &/or SPOILERS. All detailing jobs will be UNIQUE AND CUSTOM!!! And the available modifications don’t stop at the OUTSIDE of your car! They include the option to install a new stereo with amped-up subwoofer and fully-functioning speakers, leather seating, &/or HYDRAULIC BRAKES. FURTHER options may be available for truck owners - any pick-up trucks used in the ordinary course of the owner's business (or personal) use will be eligible for the tire enlargement procedure required for OFFICIAL MONSTER TRUCK CERTIFICATION!!!</span></span></span></i></p><p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 0, 153);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">As if THIS weren't enough – here’s the kicker! You will receive a FREE subscription to </span></span></span></i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 0, 153);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Car and Driver</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"> </span></span></span></i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 0, 153);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">magazine and a COMPLIMENTARY pair of driving gloves***, which will be delivered to YOUR VERY HOME</span></span></span></i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 0, 153);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"> </span></span></span></i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 0, 153);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">within 10 business days following the successful completion of any modifications.****</span></span></span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 0, 153);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">This TYRANNY must end!!! The 4TH AMENDMENT EXPLICTLY protects citizens "against unreasonable searches and seizures of a person’s car or auto." The GLOBAL WARMING HOAX is nothing but a hoax used as a HOAX to STEAL our property & change the way WE THE PEOPLE live our lives! WE must take matters into our own hands and take all Legal & Legitimate steps necessary to defeat this measure - UP TO & INCLUDING writing the occasional letter to our Congressmen!!!</span></span></span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline ! important;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 0, 153);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">-J.T. Ford, Proud American Truck Owner</span></span></span></i></p><p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 0, 153);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">*Weekly listeners to Car Talk with Click and Clack on National Public (Housing) Radio MAY, upon presentation of proper documentation and demonstration of financial need, obtain an exemption.</span></span></span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 0, 153);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">**Body shops will receive payment in the amount of the regionally prevailing market rate, and will retain the right to refuse service at their discretion.</span></span></span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 0, 153);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">***Gloves come in your choice of three styles: black leather, Gore-Tex, or chain mail - if that's what it takes for the Dog to Bite!!!</span></span></span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 0, 153);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">****The date of completion of any modifications will be determined by reference to the completion date of such modifications.</span></span></span></i></p></b><p></p></div>Jim Turnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02403704785834954687noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3010331473947423951.post-55495439811070029632010-05-28T08:49:00.000-07:002010-07-28T14:25:10.271-07:00RE: [FINAL NOTICE] FWD: Fwd: Fwd: [DISCONNECTION NOTICE] FW: "PelosiTour"<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_negqkyvCRDY/S__m8VrZ5NI/AAAAAAAAACo/4zRqQE6VQq0/s1600/B703.jpg"><br /><br /></a><div><div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_negqkyvCRDY/S__m8VrZ5NI/AAAAAAAAACo/4zRqQE6VQq0/s1600/B703.jpg"><img style="text-align: left; display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 251px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_negqkyvCRDY/S__m8VrZ5NI/AAAAAAAAACo/4zRqQE6VQq0/s320/B703.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5476349596191548626" border="0" /></a><br /><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">Listen up, folks! It is my sworn & sacred duty as an American citizen to warn you about the </span></i></b></span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">MOST EGREGIOUS MISUSE OF PUBLIC FUNDS</span></i></span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> in the history of the Republic. Accused </span></i></b></span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">SOCIALIST</span></i></span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> & </span></i></b></span><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">temporary</span></span></i></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, is using your </span></i></b></span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">HARD-EARNED DOLLARS</span></i></span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> to mount a cross-country </span></i></b></span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">victory tour of our United States, </span></i></span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">which is tentatively titled, “Here’s To The Victory of Maoist Medicine: The Pelosi Victory Tour” (hereinafter, the </span></i></b></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">Tour </span></b></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">[emphasis mine]) </span></i></b></span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">DC Madame </span></i></span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">Pelosi has chosen to spit on & disgrace our Air Force, military, & men-in-uniform by flying commercial as opposed to using the C-20B or C-37A the Air Force typically provides for her. This is in Swift & Cogent </span></i></b></span><b><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">violation of</span></i></span></u></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> an order issued by </span></i></b></span><b><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">President George W. Bush</span></i></span></u></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> requiring the Speaker of the House be afforded secure government transportation on military aircraft when traveling on official business & personal errands is the most vicious insult to the heroes who died on September 11</span></i></b></span><sup><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">th</span></i></b></span></sup><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">, 2001 since the </span></i></b></span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">Attacks of 9-11</span></i></span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">!</span></i></b></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">Unsubstantiated internet rumors indicate that it is </span></i></b></span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">CONFIRMED</span></i></span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> that Madame Pelosi will fly JetBlue business class from Washington, D.C. to </span></i></b></span><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">Oakland</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> </span></i></span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">(a mere 9 miles or so from the Berkeley campus) , check </span></i></b></span><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">two</span></span></i></b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> </span></b></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">(2)</span></i></b></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> </span></b></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">bags, watch up to </span></i></b></span><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">two </span></span></i></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">(2)</span></i></b></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> </span></b></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">in-flight movies, & enjoy </span></i></b></span><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">one </span></span></i></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">(1)</span></i></b></span><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> </span></span></i></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">complimentary non-alcoholic beverage.* Upon her arrival, she will be greeted by the most elite & lavish high-school marching band the Bay Area has to offer – the Foothill High School marching band, the Northern California Band Association WinterGuard Classic champions for 2010. WORST OF ALL, the flight is NON-STOP and, according to flight plans, is scheduled to “briefly enter </span></i></b></span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">CANADIAN</span></i></span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> airspace [!]” (emphasis mine) EVEN WORSE, it’s avoiding any & all parts of REAL AMERICA or, to use an insult this woman herself coined, the “fly-over states.”<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">As bad as this </span></i></b></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">Tour</span></b></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> sounds, the potential impact it will have on our Federal deficit is THE WORST PART. According to the </span></i></b></span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">DEMOCRAT</span></i></span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">-controlled CBO, the </span></i></b></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">Tour</span></b></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> will increase the FY2010 Federal deficit by over </span></i></b></span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">50%!!!!** </span></i></span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">There’s also little question that Madame Speaker & the </span></i></b></span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">Dems</span></i></span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> she holds in her </span></i></b></span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">PAID-OFF POCKETS</span></i></span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> will raise taxes to pay for future “tours.” Soon, every warm-blooded </span></i></b></span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">Dem </span></i></span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">will be flying NON-STOP constantly & without due cause! <o:p></o:p></span></i></b></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">WORSE STILL, Madame Speaker plans on capping off her </span></i></b></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">Tour </span></b></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">by </span></i></b></span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">RANSACKING THE WASHINGTON MONUMENT</span></i></span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">. Simple COMMON SENSE indicates that she will decline to leave the Monument by the end of normal visiting hours, & </span></i></b></span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">MOVE INTO THE MONUMENT’S PENTHOUSE, PERMANENTLY!!! </span></i></span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">…. Obviously, there is no question that she will use tax dollars to commission NASA to construct </span></i></b></span><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">and</span></span></i></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> install a high-powered telescope in the Monument Penthouse. This Space Telescope will be based on Hubble Space Telescope technology and will offer her unreasonable views of contiguous </span></i></b></span><st1:country-region st="on"><st1:place st="on"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">United States</span></i></b></span></st1:place></st1:country-region><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">. This will almost certainly result in her personally trampling portions of our 1</span></i></b></span><sup><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">st</span></i></b></span></sup><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> and </span></i></b></span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">ALL </span></i></span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">of our</span></i></b></span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> </span></i></span><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">2</span></i></span><sup><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">nd</span></i></span></sup><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> Amendment rights</span></i></span></u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">! </span></i></span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">(emphasis in the original)</span></i></b></span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></b></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">Though numerous internet searches failed to turn up any references to the </span></i></b></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">Tour</span></b></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">, </span></i></b></span><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">THE TOUR WILL GO ON!</span></span></i></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> This is, of course, contingent on Madame Pelosi changing her usual plans and method of travel back to her home district.*** <o:p></o:p></span></i></b></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">-The “Night” Watchman<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> </span></i></b></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">* According to a recent Priceline.com search, fares are a NEGLIGIBLE 10-15% lower for </span></b></span><st1:city st="on"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">Oakland</span></b></span></st1:city><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> International (IATA code “OAK”) flights than for </span></b></span><st1:place st="on"><st1:city st="on"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">San Francisco</span></b></span></st1:city></st1:place><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> International (IATA code “SFO”) flights.<o:p></o:p></span></b></span></span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">** This estimate is subject to revision once credible CBO projections become available.<o:p></o:p></span></b></span></span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">***</span></b></span></span></i><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> </span></i></b></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">After an exhaustive search, we have found </span></b></span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">NO</span></span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> credible records of any kind to corroborate this account.</span></b></span></i><o:p></o:p></span></p></div></div>Jim Turnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02403704785834954687noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3010331473947423951.post-48751326110214808552010-03-21T11:18:00.000-07:002010-07-27T13:05:32.681-07:00[URGENT] RE: [SPAM] FWD: Fwd: [FINAL NOTICE] Fwd: FW: "The OTHER Mandate"<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_negqkyvCRDY/S6ZjsP2k_bI/AAAAAAAAACg/RTOejUxHwHk/s1600-h/cyberspace.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 243px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_negqkyvCRDY/S6ZjsP2k_bI/AAAAAAAAACg/RTOejUxHwHk/s320/cyberspace.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5451154010799406514" border="0" /></a><p class="MsoNormal"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">DEMOCRAT speaker & convicted self-plagiarist PELOSI wants to use the new Savage Brothers’ Plan (a procedural technicality often referred to as the “Savage Brothers’ Plan”) to do MORE than “just” take over healthcare… She wants to use the procedure to implement a provision that would REQUIRE you to purchase FREE HIGH-SPEED INTERNET service from the FEDERAL GOVERNMENT… If this doesn’t sound like TYRANNY to you, well, it SURE DOES to me!!!</span></i></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">The plan will require EVERYONE to allow GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS to install and connect high-speed internet cable to their PERSONAL HOME APPLE (MAC) OR PC... The officials could drill through your walls, rearrange your furniture, and EVEN REDECORATE YOUR HOME if </span></i></b><i><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">they</span></b></i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);"> decide they need to in order to properly perform their duties…</span></i></b></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">Under this program, AMERICANS would receive a free wireless router… HOWEVER, the GOVERNMENT will require YOU to purchase a wireless card if you do not already own one… Two USB cables (one for primary use and one as a spare) will come with the router if you choose to connect via Ethernet...</span></i></b></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">There will be NO CONTENT-MONITORING WHATSOEVER of sites BASED ON CONTENT!!! Your CHILDREN may be forced BY LAW to visit and subscribe to pornographic websites… HOWEVER, parents will still be free to enable any blocker features available on their browser of choice (Internet Explorer, Firefox, Mozilla, Google Chrome…), and to visit any websites of their choosing... WORSE STILL, with the GOVERNMENT acting as your INTERNET SERVICE PROVIDER, they will have the capability to CONTENT-MONITOR any FREEDOM-RELATED sites you may frequent... This puts us on a slippery slope to the TOTAL ANNIHILATION of our 1</span></i></b><sup><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">st</span></i></b></sup><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);"> and 2</span></i></b><sup><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">ND</span></i></b></sup><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);"> Amendment RIGHTS!! </span></i></b></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">After installation, you will be AUTOMATICALLY ENROLLED in a FREE 6-week course called “Making the Most of Your New Internet Connection.” The seminars are held once-a-week and are done entirely via the internet. Each session is one WHOLE half-hour… Assignments will not be graded, and students will be permitted to work in groups…</span></i></b></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">Not only would this program represent a TOTAL GOVERNMENT TAKEOVER of your financial and personal freedoms, but it would also provide you with a FREE subscription to a weekly magazine of your choice to compensate you for this COSTLY BURDEN (most “newsstand” publications will be available through this program)…</span></i></b></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">HARD-WORKING AMERICANS could opt out of this ONEROUS requirement by simply filing a quick online request from at </span></i></b><a href="http://www.government.gov/"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">www.government.gov</span></i></b></a><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">.</span></i></b></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">OBVIOUSLY, you should call your Congressman and DEMAND they vote against the HEALTHCARE HOLOCAUST… But while you’ve got him ON THE LINE, tell them to vote against PELOSINET as well!!!</span></i></b></o:p></p>Jim Turnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02403704785834954687noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3010331473947423951.post-23174495280199528752010-03-19T08:36:00.000-07:002010-07-27T13:03:15.077-07:00FWD: fw: Fwd: FW: YOU are moving to NEW YORK CITY!!!<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_negqkyvCRDY/S6OchhvBYhI/AAAAAAAAACY/ESOzHBVzypI/s1600-h/iwo-9-11-final.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5450372073853641234" style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 275px; height: 320px; text-align: center;" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_negqkyvCRDY/S6OchhvBYhI/AAAAAAAAACY/ESOzHBVzypI/s320/iwo-9-11-final.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><div><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 51);"><em>Whether you want to or not! File this one under “This Only Could Happen In New York”!! DID YOU KNOW New York City will hold a referendum this November that will allow voters in New York City to<span style="font-size:130%;"> <strong>substantially expand its City limits???</strong></span> It’s true!!! PLEASE READ ON…<br /><br />This ballot question, Proposition 42, reads in part that</em> <strong>“borough maps at City Hall are antiquated,”</strong><em> and calls for voters to authorize the City to</em> <strong>“appropriate funds to sufficiently update the drawing of city maps for the purposes of official city record keeping.”</strong> <em>It doesn’t take a ROCKET SCIENTIST to figure out what this means – CLEARLY, they’ll use this new GOVERNMENT POWER to annex WHOLESOME communities! Preliminary reports indicate that Bentonville, Arkansas; Bakersfield, California; and Ypsilanti, Michigan may be among the first annexation targets… but NO ONE is safe!! AND IT GETS EVEN BETTER – insiders are saying that any jurisdictions subject to annexation would remain fully autonomous and would retain the governmental structure they had prior to annexation!!!<br /><br />The implications would be far-reaching and could affect you, your family, your coworkers, and your friends. If YOUR community is annexed, CRIMINALS could LEGALLY enter your neighborhood to live and work. The City Council could construct Federal and state prisons near where you work and where your kids play ball. Plus, worst of all, YOU YOURSELF WOULD BE A NEW YORK CITY RESIDENT!! This means you would have to pay New York City taxes, receive additional public services, have trash on your lawn, rats in your home, AND NOT TO MENTION - you’d have to pay the salaries for a bunch of lazy, worthless cops and firemen!!! WORSE STILL, your hard-earned cash would slide right into Ol’ Welfare Queenie’s front-skirt pocket!! YOUR 16 oz. New York Strip would be sizzling on HER George Foreman Grill (yeah, the thought of that meat on a Foreman Grill gets my blood boiling too!). Talk about a WELFARE COOKOUT!! Who’s bringin’ the ORANGE SODA!!<br /><br />WE THE PEOPLE NEED TO ACT FAST!!! I have it on good authority that it “is…possible” that the measure will hit the ballot AS SOON AS THIS NOVEMBER. (A guy from my poker game knows a guy who works near Sen. Charles Schumer’s office.)</em> </span><br /></div><br /><div><br /><em><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 51);">PS I’ve already started a “No on Prop 42” campaign. I have t-shits for sale at Zazzle.com if anyone is interested: </span></em><a href="http://www.zazzle.com/prop+42+gifts"><em><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 51);">http://www.zazzle.com/prop+42+gifts</span></em></a><em><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 51);">. Upcoming gatherings will be announced shortly. Walk-ins welcome!</span></em></div></div>Jim Turnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02403704785834954687noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3010331473947423951.post-70373862313509636762010-03-17T08:22:00.000-07:002010-07-27T13:02:34.768-07:00Fwd: RE: [SPAM] Senate Liberals Move to REGULATE MUSIC<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_negqkyvCRDY/S6D4sEqoLTI/AAAAAAAAABk/PDCPb6wdRi4/s1600-h/o_9dpEcdEjwoTsWqs.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449628985168768306" style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 320px; height: 240px; text-align: center;" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_negqkyvCRDY/S6D4sEqoLTI/AAAAAAAAABk/PDCPb6wdRi4/s320/o_9dpEcdEjwoTsWqs.jpg" border="0" /></a> <span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);"><strong>Guess what people?? BIG GOVERNMENT SENATORS in the Senate want to extend their tentacles into the MUSIC YOU LISTEN TO!!! Senator Allen Franken (D-MN, former SNL head writer & notorious New York Liberal Jew) recently attempted to tack a nonbinding “disappearing rider” onto Senate Bill 1495* that would have represented a blatantly UNCONSTITUTIONAL INTRUSION into your personal freedoms. The provision would have allowed the Feds to arrange a time with you TO BREAK INTO YOUR HOME, carefully leaf through your vinyl, & INSPECT** ANY & ALL 10- or 12- inch records in your PRIVATE record collection (7-inch records would be exempt in most cases).<br /><br /></strong><div><div><div><strong>Under the provision, if they had found ANY of the vinyl to be worn, substandard, discredited, or FLAT-OUT UNPLAYABLE, they would have had the authority to REPLACE IT with a remastered Compact Disc edition of Bob Seger and The Silver Bullet Band’s <em>Night Moves</em> (1976), or, upon demonstration of reasonable cause, a 120 gram vinyl pressing of Aaron Copland’s <em>Appalachian Spring</em> (1944). Agents would also, on a case-by-case basis, have the authority to make recommendations for subsequent purchases.<br /><br />While the proposal was only mentioned in an off-hand & partially inaudible conversation between Sen. Franken & Sen. Feinstein (D-CA) at a dinner at top D.C. restaurant <em>Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse</em>, THE PROVISION ALMOST MADE THE FINAL BILL!!! Senators Franken, Feinstein, & all the other RADICAL LIBERALS in the Senate must be STOPPED before WE AMERICANS lose the right to listen to the music WE CHOOSE (including Ted Nugent, “The Boss,” Phil Collins, John Mellencamp Cougar, Sting, and MANY others).<br /><br />Please forward this to ALL AMERICANS who value their CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS!!! </strong></div><div><strong><br /></strong></div><strong></strong><div><strong></strong></div><div><strong></strong></div><div><strong></strong></div><div><strong></strong></div><div><strong></strong></div><div><strong></strong></div><div><strong></strong></div><div><strong></strong></div><div><strong>Additional details available at <a href="http://www.bobseger.com/">http://www.bobseger.com/</a>. Note that no upcoming tours are planned at this time. </strong></div><strong></strong></div><div><strong><div><br /></div></strong><div><em></em></div><div><em>*The Service Dogs for Veterans Act (S.1495), which was signed into law on October 22nd. The bill creates a pilot program to evaluate the benefits of using service dogs to help treat veterans with physical or mental injuries. </em></div><em></em></div><div></div><div><div><br /></div><div><em>**”Inspection” includes the playing of your albums on a high-quality Hi-Fi. If you do not own one, a suitable one will be provided for you. Listeners who meet certain criteria laid out in regulations will be allowed to keep the top-quality stereo after the Federal Vinyl Record Inspectors vacate your home, residence, property, garage, or rec. room. Listeners may also be entitled to a tax deduction representing the fair market value of any imperfections in the original recordings.</em></div></div></div></span>Jim Turnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02403704785834954687noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3010331473947423951.post-75800635608967584192010-03-15T15:05:00.000-07:002010-07-27T13:01:45.032-07:00Fwd: FWD: Fw: Re: Fwd: A MONUMENTAL Disgrace<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_negqkyvCRDY/S56vxI9tODI/AAAAAAAAABM/WERbzbTWqP4/s1600-h/faux-mt-rushmore.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_negqkyvCRDY/S56vxI9tODI/AAAAAAAAABM/WERbzbTWqP4/s320/faux-mt-rushmore.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5448985857919629362" border="0" /></a></div><p class="MsoNormal"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">“President” OBAMA has NO respect for our Constitution, our Founding Fathers, our Traditions, or our </span></i></b><st1:street st="on"><st1:address st="on"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">Very Way</span></i></b></st1:address></st1:street><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);"> of Life. Want proof??? He is secretly planning to use pork-ulus money to “modernize” (read: DESTROY) </span></i></b><st1:place st="on"><st1:placetype st="on"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">Mt.</span></i></b></st1:placetype><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);"> </span></i></b><st1:placename st="on"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">Rushmore</span></i></b></st1:placename></st1:place><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);"> as we know it!!! If you want to keep on living in IGNORANCE, simply delete this message. But if you want to know what’s REALLY HAPPENING to our country, PLEASE READ ON…</span></i></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">OBAMA has instructed the National Park Service to </span></i></b><st1:place st="on"><st1:placename st="on"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">replace</span></i></b></st1:placename><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);"> </span></i></b><st1:placetype st="on"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">Mt.</span></i></b></st1:placetype></st1:place><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);"> Rushmore, featuring four of our greatest Presidents, with the likenesses of four of his closest cronies – all in the name of making the monument more DIVERSE!!! From left to right, the new memorial will feature Mike Tyson (50-6, 44 KO, 2 NC), Daryl Strawberry (.259/.357/.505, 335 HR, WARP</span></i></b><sub><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">3</span></i></b></sub><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);"> of 69.4, 1983 ROY), Michael Jackson (top-selling album, longest album at #1 on </span></i></b><i><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">Billboard 200</span></b></i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">, 28 top ten hits, King of All Pop), & Sterling Sharpe (595 rec. for 8,135 yds. and 65 TD, 5 time Pro Bowl selection, credentialed Sports Broadcaster). Somehow OBAMA thinks these people are more worthy than the FOUNDING FATHERS!!!</span></i></b></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">The modest granite memorial depicting these four will be located near Keystone, </span></i></b><st1:state st="on"><st1:place st="on"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">South Dakota</span></i></b></st1:place></st1:state><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">. The planned site is about 8.5 miles northwest of the original </span></i></b><st1:place st="on"><st1:placetype st="on"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">Mt.</span></i></b></st1:placetype><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);"> </span></i></b><st1:placename st="on"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">Rushmore</span></i></b></st1:placename></st1:place><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">, which will remain unaltered and in its present location.</span></i></b></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">I write this as a CONCERNED CITIZEN and a FATHER OF FOUR. I care about the FUTURE of this country, & if you do too, pass this on!!!</span></i></b></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">PS Oh, and I’m sure it’s just a COINCIDENCE that all four of these people are AFRICAN AMERICANS!!! Yeah, right!</span></i></b></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">PPS My family is originally from the </span></i></b><st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">St. Louis</span></i></b></st1:place></st1:city><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);"> area. I have 2 older sisters and a brother, who is nine months younger than me.</span></i></b></o:p></p>Jim Turnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02403704785834954687noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3010331473947423951.post-8080159890274996552010-03-02T07:25:00.000-08:002010-07-27T13:01:01.661-07:00YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS !!!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_negqkyvCRDY/S404LcXyJFI/AAAAAAAAABE/a9PP85JuU_E/s1600-h/barack-obama-acorn-vote-early-and-often.gif"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 289px; height: 320px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_negqkyvCRDY/S404LcXyJFI/AAAAAAAAABE/a9PP85JuU_E/s320/barack-obama-acorn-vote-early-and-often.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444069293806462034" border="0" /></a><div><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">I wouldn't think it was possible if I hadn't seen the draft bill with my OWN EYES !!!</span></span></i></b></div><div><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><br /></span></span></i></b></div><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">A bill is now under consideration in the White House which would FORCE ALL AMERICAN HOMEOWNERS to allow ACORN employees to LIVE with them IN THEIR HOMES !!!</span></span></i></b><div><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><br /></span></span></i></b></div><div><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">HUSSEIN OBAMA plans to pass a bill in both houses of Congress which would give ACORN "organizers" who can demonstrate financial need the right to FORCE you to allow them to live in YOUR HOME !!! Unlucky victims would be forced to provide a suitable bedroom, access to bathing & bathroom facilities, as well as access to common areas in the house (living room, basement, kitchen, crawlspace, attic, etc.).</span></span></i></b></div><div><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><br /></span></span></i></b></div><div><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">In turn, homeowners will be entitled to a monthly payment from their boarders reflecting prevailing rents in the regional rental market, as well as a prorated share of any qualifying food and/or utility expenses. However, under most circumstances, cable and high-speed internet will CONTINUE TO BE THE HOMEOWNER'S SOLE RESPONSIBILITY. Think of the payout this complicated law will give to LIBERAL CPAs & UNIONS !!!</span></span></i></b></div><div><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><br /></span></span></i></b></div><div><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">This bill is a NIGHTMARE for honest Americans. We must UNITE to FIGHT THIS BILL !!!</span></span></i></b></div><div><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><br /></span></span></i></b></div><div><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">-- </span></span></i></b><i><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">An Honest American</span></span></b></i></div>Jim Turnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02403704785834954687noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3010331473947423951.post-88778732737983186752010-02-26T11:39:00.000-08:002010-07-27T13:04:37.694-07:00Fw: Fwd: Fwd: Fw: FWD: Re: Fw: Uncle Sam Wants Your Gold!!!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_negqkyvCRDY/S4w7UxpPnrI/AAAAAAAAAA8/RuVfHNMnG3U/s1600-h/39197167_gold.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 274px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_negqkyvCRDY/S4w7UxpPnrI/AAAAAAAAAA8/RuVfHNMnG3U/s320/39197167_gold.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5443791277693836978" border="0" /></a><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 20px;font-size:13px;" ><div><b><i><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">It's bad enough that Sheik OBAMA, Reid, & Pelosi want to pass a 53,000 page bill which, if it becomes law, would subject the American People to nothing short of MEDICAL SLAVERY. But, believe it or not folks, it gets EVEN WORSE !!! They want to pay for this unprecedented expansion of government power by SEIZING OUR GOLD !!!</span></span></i></b></div><div><b><i><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><br /></span></span></i></b></div><div><b><i><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">OBAMA is working with his allies in the White House to insert a provision in the Democrat health bill which would require all American taxpayers to REPORT their holdings of gold to the IRS on their tax returns under PENALTY OF LAW !!! THAT'S RIGHT - ALL of your gold, including wedding rings, jewelry, achievements, white gold, collectibles, etc. etc. will have to be reported !!! The IRS would THEN be empowered to SEIZE any & all of these items during normal business hours. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">The owners of GOLD would receive cash compensation from the US Treasury in the amount of the independently appraised value of the gold items, PLUS a 5-10% markup for the inconvenience. </span></span></i></b></span></span></i></b></span></span></i></b></div><div><b><i><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><br /></span></span></i></b></span></span></i></b></span></span></i></b></span></span></i></b></span></span></i></b></span></span></i></b></span></span></i></b></div><div><b><i><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">Penalties for failing to report gold holdings will range from fines of $500 to 15-year prison sentences. However, preliminary reports indicate that Federal prosecutors will generally seek a variety of innovative alternative sentences, including conditional release & public service programs. </span></span></i></b></span></span></i></b></span></span></i></b></span></span></i></b></span></span></i></b></span></span></i></b></span></span></i></b></div><div><b><i><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><br /></span></span></i></b></span></span></i></b></div><div><b><i><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">Not only will this represent the most egregious confiscation of wealth in AMERICAN HISTORY - it will deprive the American People of ALL of their GOLD POSSESSIONS !!!</span></span></i></b></span></span></i></b></div><div><b><i><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><br /></span></span></i></b></div><div><b><i><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">This is the ultimate DOUBLE-WHAMMY!!! The FEDERAL GOVERNMENT would use our very gold against us. We must tenaciously fight this radical expansion of the powers of government if our freedoms are to survive.</span></span></i></b></div></span></i></b></span></div>Jim Turnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02403704785834954687noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3010331473947423951.post-3900970017072145122010-02-22T09:28:00.000-08:002010-07-27T12:58:54.266-07:00ALERT: FWD: FWD: FW: FWD: fwd: RE: Great Big Wheel<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_negqkyvCRDY/S4K_M1UWz2I/AAAAAAAAAA0/u7yZDRLB8pY/s1600-h/volksprater-funfair-modern-ferris-wheel.half.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 242px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_negqkyvCRDY/S4K_M1UWz2I/AAAAAAAAAA0/u7yZDRLB8pY/s320/volksprater-funfair-modern-ferris-wheel.half.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5441121527008776034" border="0" /></a><br /><p class="MsoNormal"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><b>Fellow Citizens:</b></span></i></p><p class="MsoNormal"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><b>This administration continues to make a MOCKERY of our great nation.</b></span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><b>Certified MUSLIM & COMMUNIST OBAMA is now pressuring top Pentagon officials to make funds available to build a Ferris Wheel at </b></span></i><st1:place st="on"><st1:placename st="on"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><b>Guantanamo</b></span></i></st1:placename><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><b> </b></span></i><st1:placetype st="on"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><b>Bay</b></span></i></st1:placetype></st1:place><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><b> for use by the prisoners as a reward for good behavior.</b></span></i></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><b>Yes folks, you read that right! A FERRIS WHEEL!!! According to the leaked design plan, the Wheel will stand at 193 ft. (approximately 59 meters), making it the second tallest Wheel in the nation, just behind the Texas Star in </b></span></i><st1:place st="on"><st1:city st="on"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><b>Dallas</b></span></i></st1:city><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><b>, </b></span></i><st1:state st="on"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><b>Texas</b></span></i></st1:state></st1:place><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><b>. The tentative name for the Wheel is the Great Big Wheel.</b></span></i></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><b>Not only will the Wheel provide prisoners with the stimulation inherent in experiencing a large, vertical circular motion, but it will ALSO provide breathtaking views of this coastal </b></span></i><st1:place st="on"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><b>Caribbean</b></span></i></st1:place><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><b> region. But it gets EVEN BETTER – the administration plans to pay for the Wheel by diverting funds dedicated to providing body armor for our Brave Soldiers!!!</b></span></i></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><b>Apparently this president would rather spend time, money, & EVEN AMERICAN LIVES to entertain terrorists, when he should be FIGHTING them!!!</b></span></i></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><b>Get the word OUT!!!</b></span></i></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><b>PLS PASS ON TO 15 PEOPLE</b></span></i></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><b>--</b></span></i><st1:state st="on"><st1:place st="on"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><b>Nebraska</b></span></i></st1:place></st1:state><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><b> Ned</b></span></i></p>Jim Turnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02403704785834954687noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3010331473947423951.post-88814603724913905552010-02-17T07:53:00.000-08:002010-07-27T12:58:30.775-07:00URGENT: STOP Obama's New Reparations Proposal!!!<img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5439252410281539298" style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 280px; height: 280px; text-align: center;" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_negqkyvCRDY/S3wbP66EtuI/AAAAAAAAAAs/L3KNJPX3D0A/s320/HP%2520Color%2520LaserJet%25204600DN%2520Printer%2520%28C9661A-ABA%29.jpg" border="0" /><em><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);font-size:130%;" ><strong></strong></span></em><br /><em><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);font-size:130%;" ><strong>Folks, it just doesn't get any CRAZIER than this.</strong> </span></em><br /><br /><em><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);font-size:130%;" >Comrade-in-Chief OBAMA has surreptiously inserted into the new "jobs bill" (read: "WELFARE bill") a clause that would provide black households with FREE, top-of-the line, laser-jet color printers. Who's going to PAY for this??? Yup, you guessed it - the rest of us who actually WORK for a living!!!</span></em><br /><br /><em><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);font-size:130%;" >If passed, H.R. 1161 §§ A(3)(w) et. seq. would authorize the White House to buy and distribute to EACH AND EVERY "qualifying African-American household" the newest, most lavish, and MOST EXPENSIVE laser-jet color printers. While the choice of the exact model has yet to be determined pending a careful review of the specs and consumer reports, sources indicate that the Dell 3130cn and Lexmark C734dn are the early frontrunners. Both provide good value, extended warranties, and ongoing technical support. But BEWARE - given the scale of this project, there are bound to be delays and logistical problems arising during the delivery process.</span></em><br /><br /><em><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);font-size:130%;" >So it has come to this!!!?? If it wasn't clear before, it should be clear now - Obama is a BLATANT RACIST!!! Apparently 200 years of fat WELFARE checks aren't enough - we still OWE these people something! I'll say this - my uncle didn't serve in the U.S. Army Signal Corps from 1973-1976 so America could become a SOCIALIST STATE!</span></em><br /><br /><strong><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);font-size:130%;" >OPEN YOUR EYES AMERICA AND STOP THIS BILL!!!</span></strong><br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">--<em>A True American</em></span></span>Jim Turnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02403704785834954687noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3010331473947423951.post-34586763097733317372010-02-12T13:55:00.000-08:002010-07-27T13:03:55.309-07:00From Ben in Memphis - Democrat Party to LEGALIZE CRIME!!!!<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_negqkyvCRDY/S3m96TXEXnI/AAAAAAAAAAk/1wg7o4U21sE/s1600-h/Royzelle-Williams.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438586834353675890" style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 256px; height: 320px; text-align: center;" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_negqkyvCRDY/S3m96TXEXnI/AAAAAAAAAAk/1wg7o4U21sE/s320/Royzelle-Williams.jpg" border="0" /></a>Comrade OBAMA has co-sponsored a bill in CONGRESS to LEGALIZE CRIME!!!<br /><div><br />Using their typical secretive meetings and back-room deals, OBAMA and the other DEMS in CONGRESS have reached a deal to ram an unprecedented bill down Americans’ throats. If passed, this bill would DESTROY the very fabric of American society. Among other things, this bill would LEGALIZE CRIME (with the limited exception of any criminal offenses specified by state or Federal statute).</div><div><br />THINK about it. This would mean that the convicted CRIMINALS and RAPISTS who put OBAMA in the White House will be able to legally roam the streets, provided they have not been duly prosecuted and incarcerated under Federal or state law. GOD help us if we don't stop this bill. </div><div><br />We MUST STOP THIS BILL!!! Call your Congressman and DEMAND that he stand up against this LIBERAL INSANITY!!!</div>Jim Turnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02403704785834954687noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3010331473947423951.post-2825373877760210822010-02-12T12:38:00.000-08:002010-02-12T12:43:21.959-08:00FUNNY – Stupid Liberal Jokes: No. 118!!!<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_negqkyvCRDY/S3W89CpTfuI/AAAAAAAAAAU/I-CexNFgPKs/s1600-h/DESERTED%2520ISLAND.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5437459881987899106" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_negqkyvCRDY/S3W89CpTfuI/AAAAAAAAAAU/I-CexNFgPKs/s320/DESERTED%2520ISLAND.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div></div><div>Two men find themselves stranded on a deserted tropical island. The first is a staunch Conservative and the second is a typical liberal.<br /><br />The Conservative and the liberal start discussing how to get off the island. The liberal suggests they start screaming “help!” as loud as they can, working in shifts for an hour each until someone hears them. The Conservative, confused, responds, “I really don’t think that would work.” To this the liberal replies, “yeah, I guess you’re right.”<br /><br />The two then agree that the best way off the island is probably to build a canoe and row to the nearest deserted tropical island. After two weeks of tireless work and a great deal of wrangling, the two men successfully build a make-shift canoe out of one of the palm trees on the island.<br /><br />Working up their nerve, the two men finally decided to set off on their desperate voyage. However, shortly after departing the island, the canoe sank; it was poorly constructed due to the two men’s unfamiliarity with carpentry and/or ship-building.<br /><br />Pass on to your friends!</div>Jim Turnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02403704785834954687noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3010331473947423951.post-46823954705210408772010-02-12T12:30:00.000-08:002010-02-12T12:42:45.705-08:00ALERT: Crooked Dems in Congress To Invent a New Dog!!!<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_negqkyvCRDY/S3W7wRb258I/AAAAAAAAAAM/kNvj9sE4JxQ/s1600-h/worlds-strongest-dog.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5437458563108104130" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 221px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_negqkyvCRDY/S3W7wRb258I/AAAAAAAAAAM/kNvj9sE4JxQ/s320/worlds-strongest-dog.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div></div><div>The Gang of Four (Obama, Pelosi & Reed) want to take EVEN MORE of your hard-earned money and waste it on pork, pork, and EVEN MORE PORK. These CROOKS are now trying to spend over $263 million of YOUR MONEY inventing a New Dog. Stop this payout to Democrat cronies!!!</div><br /><div></div><div>Don’t believe me? Here are the FACTS. The Obama pork-ulus has a hidden section giving HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS of dollars to pay for inventing a New Dog. The scientist doing the research (at Harvard, of course!) gave over $100 million to OBAMA’S campaign. Look it up, it’s all in the bill!</div><br /><div></div><div>And how are they going to pay for this?? By imposing a new DOG TAX. Every time you buy a dog you will be TAXED – from 1.25% for low-grade dogs increasing to up to 3.75% for the high-end breeds!! (Note: special exemptions are available for seeing-eye dogs, service dogs, and cancer-sniffing dogs – contact your tax professional!)</div><br /><div></div><div>We REAL AMERICAN PATRIOTS work hard for our money, and we don't need it WASTED on pork-barrel projects like inventing New Dogs. I worked somewhere between 45 and 50 hours a week for a three week stretch last October, though official payroll records do not reflect this. Since then my hours have fluctuated.</div><br /><div></div><div>CALL YOUR CONGRESSMAN and tell him we don’t need Muslim-in-Chief Obama’s New Dog!!! It’s time to take our country BACK!!!</div><br /><div></div><div>PLS PASS ON TO 12 FELLOW PATRIOTS!!!</div>Jim Turnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02403704785834954687noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3010331473947423951.post-25324004474026760282010-02-12T12:16:00.000-08:002010-07-27T12:56:15.398-07:00Welcome!As some of you all know, I have moved my operations over to blogger.com for a variety of reasons I'm not prepared to get into. For those of you who are new to JTCF, this is a blog where I feature the most cutting edge, hardest hitting, highest quality conservative forwards now making the e-mail rounds. If you're looking for the next hot conservative forward, you've come to the right place!<br /><br />NOTE: I cannot guarantee that each and every forward is factually accurate. It is possible that there will be an occasional exaggeration or misstatement.<br /><br />Please forward any and all featured material to your friends!Jim Turnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02403704785834954687noreply@blogger.com0