Re: [CHEAP VIAGRA] FWD: Re: [PROOF OF PURCHASE]: THE END OF LIBERTY (ISLAND) IN AMERICA!!!

The Statue of Liberty is of course one of the most important symbols of American Liberty in the ENTIRE WORLD. Although it is not accessible to the general public, and its True Value is therefore difficult to ascertain, most independent appraisal professionals will tell you that the Statue is EXTREMELY VALUABLE.* However, in a blatant effort to ERODE OUR NATIONAL SPIRIT, GANGBANGER Obama plans to RAISE LIBERTY ISLAND’S ANCHOR and SET IT ADRIFT!!!

Doing this would give rise to two (2), and only two (2), distinct maritime possibilities. First, the Statue could float UPSTREAM into the East River**, where, barring any unforeseen developments, She would almost certainly clear the Brooklyn Bridge, the Manhattan Bridge, the Williamsburg Bridge, the Queensboro Bridge, all three spans of the RFK (formerly Triboro) Bridge including the Hell Gate Bridge, the Harlem Lift Bridge, and the Bronx Kill Crossing, the Bronx-Whitesone Bridge, and the Throgs Neck Bridge. With any luck, she will avoid the Francis R. Buono Memorial (Rikers Island) Bridge entirely.

Maritime Scenario #1

If this were to happen, tens of thousands of PATRIOTIC AMERICANS would almost certainly flock to the River’s Shores. Upon their timely arrival, they would witness the ALMOST IMPOSSIBLY IMPROBABLE spectacle, as Lady Liberty floated MAJESTICALLY upriver and ultimately into the Long Island Sound. The Statue may be visible to onlookers in Long Island and/or Connecticut (although we cannot guarantee this), and MAY EVEN BRIEFLY ENTER Bill Joel’s BLOCK ISLAND SOUND. The precise number of photographs to be taken by on-lookers is difficult to gauge at this juncture (the modern digital SLRs that enable amateur photographers to take upwards of hundreds of millions of photos a minute, and the ever increasing size of flash card storage capabilities, make any attempt at even a conservative estimate impossible and, quite possibly, unlawful).The whole event could give rise to numerous practical difficulties which I am not prepared to describe at this time. But I will say this much -parking is SURE to be a “nightmare" and refreshments WILL be sold at a minimum 350% mark-up.***

Second, the Statue could simply flow out into the bay to become SHAMELESSLY lodged in THE NOTORIOUS SANDY HOOK, leaving Her to be DEVOURED by barnacles, sea creatures, and other harmless CREATURES OF THE SEA.**** Which outcome will ultimately be realized is UNCERTAIN AT THIS TIME.

Maritime Scenario #2

Of course, there are COUNTLESS OTHER POSSIBILITIES, most of which involve the Statue getting caught in THE JET’S STREAM and ending up far out to sea. Under any imaginable scenario, maintaining RADIO CONTACT with Lady Liberty would be NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE, and she would eventually become an OLD SEAFARERS’ LEGEND.*****

PLEASE JOIN US in taking decisive action!!! As incessant attempts to contact the NYPD and Rahm Emmanuel have failed to yield concrete results, we’ve decided to TAKE MATTERS INTO OUR OWN HANDS. We intend to build a NEW & IMPROVED LIBERTY ANCHOR to augment and reinforce the current anchor, although this plan is to remain STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL at this time. And though National Park Service officials have been lukewarm at best (if not OUTRIGHT HOSTILE) in their response to our offer (insisting that the island requires no anchor at this time), and have stated in no uncertain terms that any attempt to bring a GIANT WROUGHT-IRON ANCHOR on to Liberty Island would lead to our prompt arrest and prosecution, we INTEND TO COURAGEOUSLY MOVE FORWARD to defend our nation’s interest. And rest assured, we have also devised a top-secret contingency plan in the event that ETERNAL FLAME EXTINGUISHER Obama succeeds in setting LADY LIBERTY adrift. The plan involves coaxing “Hero of the Hudson” Chesley “SULLY” Sullenberger out of retirement – by ANY MEANS NECESSARY****** to pilot a nonfunctioning replica of a turn-of-the-century tug boat. Few, if any, know the waters that surround Manhattan better than Sullenberger, and we are confident he would be the man to return LADY LIBERTY to her rightful resting place.

JOIN US that we may rescue our GREAT NATION’S VERY SOUL!!!

-An Independent Contractor

*We have made NO effort of ANY KIND to contact any such professionals.

**Most (all) experts agree that this is astronomically unlikely.

***Outside food and beverages will be STRICTLY prohibited.

****Most (all) experts agree that this is astronomically unlikely.

*****Naturally, modern satellite technology would make it easy to pinpoint the exact location of Statue.

******Despite our EXHAUSTIVE search, we do not have a current address, phone number, or e-mail for Sullenberger. Any help on this front would be greatly appreciated.

Obama’s “GREEN” CAR GRAB!!!

OBAMA & PELOSI continue to use the “environment” as an excuse to further their STALINIST agenda to CONFISCATE our money, our guns, and now – our CARS. We have it on GOOD AUTHORITY that these criminals have an ORAL AGREEMENT to seize our cars and make us PAY to make them more “environmentally friendly.”

The plan goes like this. ARMED Federal agents will, upon receipt of your signed & notarized authorization, SEIZE your personal vehicle* and take it to the nearest reputable body shop. THERE, the agents will relay orders for any “qualifying modifications” you may request. For a NOMINAL CHARGE, the fully qualified automotive professionals will be FORCED** to install one or more of the following on your automobile: TINTED WINDSHIELDS & WINDOWS, DECALS, &/or SPOILERS. All detailing jobs will be UNIQUE AND CUSTOM!!! And the available modifications don’t stop at the OUTSIDE of your car! They include the option to install a new stereo with amped-up subwoofer and fully-functioning speakers, leather seating, &/or HYDRAULIC BRAKES. FURTHER options may be available for truck owners - any pick-up trucks used in the ordinary course of the owner's business (or personal) use will be eligible for the tire enlargement procedure required for OFFICIAL MONSTER TRUCK CERTIFICATION!!!

As if THIS weren't enough – here’s the kicker! You will receive a FREE subscription to Car and Driver magazine and a COMPLIMENTARY pair of driving gloves***, which will be delivered to YOUR VERY HOME within 10 business days following the successful completion of any modifications.****

This TYRANNY must end!!! The 4TH AMENDMENT EXPLICTLY protects citizens "against unreasonable searches and seizures of a person’s car or auto." The GLOBAL WARMING HOAX is nothing but a hoax used as a HOAX to STEAL our property & change the way WE THE PEOPLE live our lives! WE must take matters into our own hands and take all Legal & Legitimate steps necessary to defeat this measure - UP TO & INCLUDING writing the occasional letter to our Congressmen!!!

-J.T. Ford, Proud American Truck Owner

*Weekly listeners to Car Talk with Click and Clack on National Public (Housing) Radio MAY, upon presentation of proper documentation and demonstration of financial need, obtain an exemption.

**Body shops will receive payment in the amount of the regionally prevailing market rate, and will retain the right to refuse service at their discretion.

***Gloves come in your choice of three styles: black leather, Gore-Tex, or chain mail - if that's what it takes for the Dog to Bite!!!

****The date of completion of any modifications will be determined by reference to the completion date of such modifications.

RE: [FINAL NOTICE] FWD: Fwd: Fwd: [DISCONNECTION NOTICE] FW: "PelosiTour"

Listen up, folks! It is my sworn & sacred duty as an American citizen to warn you about the MOST EGREGIOUS MISUSE OF PUBLIC FUNDS in the history of the Republic. Accused SOCIALIST & temporary Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, is using your HARD-EARNED DOLLARS to mount a cross-country victory tour of our United States, which is tentatively titled, “Here’s To The Victory of Maoist Medicine: The Pelosi Victory Tour” (hereinafter, the Tour [emphasis mine]) DC Madame Pelosi has chosen to spit on & disgrace our Air Force, military, & men-in-uniform by flying commercial as opposed to using the C-20B or C-37A the Air Force typically provides for her. This is in Swift & Cogent violation of an order issued by President George W. Bush requiring the Speaker of the House be afforded secure government transportation on military aircraft when traveling on official business & personal errands is the most vicious insult to the heroes who died on September 11^th, 2001 since the Attacks of 9-11!

Unsubstantiated internet rumors indicate that it is CONFIRMED that Madame Pelosi will fly JetBlue business class from Washington, D.C. to Oakland (a mere 9 miles or so from the Berkeley campus) , check two (2) bags, watch up to two (2) in-flight movies, & enjoy one (1) complimentary non-alcoholic beverage.* Upon her arrival, she will be greeted by the most elite & lavish high-school marching band the Bay Area has to offer – the Foothill High School marching band, the Northern California Band Association WinterGuard Classic champions for 2010. WORST OF ALL, the flight is NON-STOP and, according to flight plans, is scheduled to “briefly enter CANADIAN airspace [!]” (emphasis mine) EVEN WORSE, it’s avoiding any & all parts of REAL AMERICA or, to use an insult this woman herself coined, the “fly-over states.”

As bad as this Tour sounds, the potential impact it will have on our Federal deficit is THE WORST PART. According to the DEMOCRAT-controlled CBO, the Tour will increase the FY2010 Federal deficit by over 50%!!!!** There’s also little question that Madame Speaker & the Dems she holds in her PAID-OFF POCKETS will raise taxes to pay for future “tours.” Soon, every warm-blooded Dem will be flying NON-STOP constantly & without due cause!

WORSE STILL, Madame Speaker plans on capping off her Tour by RANSACKING THE WASHINGTON MONUMENT. Simple COMMON SENSE indicates that she will decline to leave the Monument by the end of normal visiting hours, & MOVE INTO THE MONUMENT’S PENTHOUSE, PERMANENTLY!!! …. Obviously, there is no question that she will use tax dollars to commission NASA to construct and install a high-powered telescope in the Monument Penthouse. This Space Telescope will be based on Hubble Space Telescope technology and will offer her unreasonable views of contiguous United States. This will almost certainly result in her personally trampling portions of our 1^st and ALL of our 2^nd Amendment rights! (emphasis in the original)

Though numerous internet searches failed to turn up any references to the Tour, THE TOUR WILL GO ON! This is, of course, contingent on Madame Pelosi changing her usual plans and method of travel back to her home district.***

-The “Night” Watchman

* According to a recent Priceline.com search, fares are a NEGLIGIBLE 10-15% lower for Oakland International (IATA code “OAK”) flights than for San Francisco International (IATA code “SFO”) flights.

** This estimate is subject to revision once credible CBO projections become available.

*** After an exhaustive search, we have found NO credible records of any kind to corroborate this account.

[URGENT] RE: [SPAM] FWD: Fwd: [FINAL NOTICE] Fwd: FW: "The OTHER Mandate"

DEMOCRAT speaker & convicted self-plagiarist PELOSI wants to use the new Savage Brothers’ Plan (a procedural technicality often referred to as the “Savage Brothers’ Plan”) to do MORE than “just” take over healthcare… She wants to use the procedure to implement a provision that would REQUIRE you to purchase FREE HIGH-SPEED INTERNET service from the FEDERAL GOVERNMENT… If this doesn’t sound like TYRANNY to you, well, it SURE DOES to me!!!

The plan will require EVERYONE to allow GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS to install and connect high-speed internet cable to their PERSONAL HOME APPLE (MAC) OR PC... The officials could drill through your walls, rearrange your furniture, and EVEN REDECORATE YOUR HOME if they decide they need to in order to properly perform their duties…

Under this program, AMERICANS would receive a free wireless router… HOWEVER, the GOVERNMENT will require YOU to purchase a wireless card if you do not already own one… Two USB cables (one for primary use and one as a spare) will come with the router if you choose to connect via Ethernet...

There will be NO CONTENT-MONITORING WHATSOEVER of sites BASED ON CONTENT!!! Your CHILDREN may be forced BY LAW to visit and subscribe to pornographic websites… HOWEVER, parents will still be free to enable any blocker features available on their browser of choice (Internet Explorer, Firefox, Mozilla, Google Chrome…), and to visit any websites of their choosing... WORSE STILL, with the GOVERNMENT acting as your INTERNET SERVICE PROVIDER, they will have the capability to CONTENT-MONITOR any FREEDOM-RELATED sites you may frequent... This puts us on a slippery slope to the TOTAL ANNIHILATION of our 1^st and 2^ND Amendment RIGHTS!!

After installation, you will be AUTOMATICALLY ENROLLED in a FREE 6-week course called “Making the Most of Your New Internet Connection.” The seminars are held once-a-week and are done entirely via the internet. Each session is one WHOLE half-hour… Assignments will not be graded, and students will be permitted to work in groups…

Not only would this program represent a TOTAL GOVERNMENT TAKEOVER of your financial and personal freedoms, but it would also provide you with a FREE subscription to a weekly magazine of your choice to compensate you for this COSTLY BURDEN (most “newsstand” publications will be available through this program)…

HARD-WORKING AMERICANS could opt out of this ONEROUS requirement by simply filing a quick online request from at www.government.gov.

OBVIOUSLY, you should call your Congressman and DEMAND they vote against the HEALTHCARE HOLOCAUST… But while you’ve got him ON THE LINE, tell them to vote against PELOSINET as well!!!

FWD: fw: Fwd: FW: YOU are moving to NEW YORK CITY!!!

Whether you want to or not! File this one under “This Only Could Happen In New York”!! DID YOU KNOW New York City will hold a referendum this November that will allow voters in New York City to substantially expand its City limits??? It’s true!!! PLEASE READ ON…

This ballot question, Proposition 42, reads in part that “borough maps at City Hall are antiquated,” and calls for voters to authorize the City to “appropriate funds to sufficiently update the drawing of city maps for the purposes of official city record keeping.” It doesn’t take a ROCKET SCIENTIST to figure out what this means – CLEARLY, they’ll use this new GOVERNMENT POWER to annex WHOLESOME communities! Preliminary reports indicate that Bentonville, Arkansas; Bakersfield, California; and Ypsilanti, Michigan may be among the first annexation targets… but NO ONE is safe!! AND IT GETS EVEN BETTER – insiders are saying that any jurisdictions subject to annexation would remain fully autonomous and would retain the governmental structure they had prior to annexation!!!

The implications would be far-reaching and could affect you, your family, your coworkers, and your friends. If YOUR community is annexed, CRIMINALS could LEGALLY enter your neighborhood to live and work. The City Council could construct Federal and state prisons near where you work and where your kids play ball. Plus, worst of all, YOU YOURSELF WOULD BE A NEW YORK CITY RESIDENT!! This means you would have to pay New York City taxes, receive additional public services, have trash on your lawn, rats in your home, AND NOT TO MENTION - you’d have to pay the salaries for a bunch of lazy, worthless cops and firemen!!! WORSE STILL, your hard-earned cash would slide right into Ol’ Welfare Queenie’s front-skirt pocket!! YOUR 16 oz. New York Strip would be sizzling on HER George Foreman Grill (yeah, the thought of that meat on a Foreman Grill gets my blood boiling too!). Talk about a WELFARE COOKOUT!! Who’s bringin’ the ORANGE SODA!!

WE THE PEOPLE NEED TO ACT FAST!!! I have it on good authority that it “is…possible” that the measure will hit the ballot AS SOON AS THIS NOVEMBER. (A guy from my poker game knows a guy who works near Sen. Charles Schumer’s office.)

PS I’ve already started a “No on Prop 42” campaign. I have t-shits for sale at Zazzle.com if anyone is interested: http://www.zazzle.com/prop+42+gifts. Upcoming gatherings will be announced shortly. Walk-ins welcome!

Fwd: RE: [SPAM] Senate Liberals Move to REGULATE MUSIC

Guess what people?? BIG GOVERNMENT SENATORS in the Senate want to extend their tentacles into the MUSIC YOU LISTEN TO!!! Senator Allen Franken (D-MN, former SNL head writer & notorious New York Liberal Jew) recently attempted to tack a nonbinding “disappearing rider” onto Senate Bill 1495* that would have represented a blatantly UNCONSTITUTIONAL INTRUSION into your personal freedoms. The provision would have allowed the Feds to arrange a time with you TO BREAK INTO YOUR HOME, carefully leaf through your vinyl, & INSPECT** ANY & ALL 10- or 12- inch records in your PRIVATE record collection (7-inch records would be exempt in most cases).

Under the provision, if they had found ANY of the vinyl to be worn, substandard, discredited, or FLAT-OUT UNPLAYABLE, they would have had the authority to REPLACE IT with a remastered Compact Disc edition of Bob Seger and The Silver Bullet Band’s Night Moves (1976), or, upon demonstration of reasonable cause, a 120 gram vinyl pressing of Aaron Copland’s Appalachian Spring (1944). Agents would also, on a case-by-case basis, have the authority to make recommendations for subsequent purchases.

While the proposal was only mentioned in an off-hand & partially inaudible conversation between Sen. Franken & Sen. Feinstein (D-CA) at a dinner at top D.C. restaurant Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse, THE PROVISION ALMOST MADE THE FINAL BILL!!! Senators Franken, Feinstein, & all the other RADICAL LIBERALS in the Senate must be STOPPED before WE AMERICANS lose the right to listen to the music WE CHOOSE (including Ted Nugent, “The Boss,” Phil Collins, John Mellencamp Cougar, Sting, and MANY others).

Please forward this to ALL AMERICANS who value their CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS!!!

Additional details available at http://www.bobseger.com/. Note that no upcoming tours are planned at this time.

*The Service Dogs for Veterans Act (S.1495), which was signed into law on October 22nd. The bill creates a pilot program to evaluate the benefits of using service dogs to help treat veterans with physical or mental injuries.

**”Inspection” includes the playing of your albums on a high-quality Hi-Fi. If you do not own one, a suitable one will be provided for you. Listeners who meet certain criteria laid out in regulations will be allowed to keep the top-quality stereo after the Federal Vinyl Record Inspectors vacate your home, residence, property, garage, or rec. room. Listeners may also be entitled to a tax deduction representing the fair market value of any imperfections in the original recordings.

Fwd: FWD: Fw: Re: Fwd: A MONUMENTAL Disgrace

“President” OBAMA has NO respect for our Constitution, our Founding Fathers, our Traditions, or our Very Way of Life. Want proof??? He is secretly planning to use pork-ulus money to “modernize” (read: DESTROY) Mt. Rushmore as we know it!!! If you want to keep on living in IGNORANCE, simply delete this message. But if you want to know what’s REALLY HAPPENING to our country, PLEASE READ ON…

OBAMA has instructed the National Park Service to replace Mt. Rushmore, featuring four of our greatest Presidents, with the likenesses of four of his closest cronies – all in the name of making the monument more DIVERSE!!! From left to right, the new memorial will feature Mike Tyson (50-6, 44 KO, 2 NC), Daryl Strawberry (.259/.357/.505, 335 HR, WARP₃ of 69.4, 1983 ROY), Michael Jackson (top-selling album, longest album at #1 on Billboard 200, 28 top ten hits, King of All Pop), & Sterling Sharpe (595 rec. for 8,135 yds. and 65 TD, 5 time Pro Bowl selection, credentialed Sports Broadcaster). Somehow OBAMA thinks these people are more worthy than the FOUNDING FATHERS!!!

The modest granite memorial depicting these four will be located near Keystone, South Dakota. The planned site is about 8.5 miles northwest of the original Mt. Rushmore, which will remain unaltered and in its present location.

I write this as a CONCERNED CITIZEN and a FATHER OF FOUR. I care about the FUTURE of this country, & if you do too, pass this on!!!

PS Oh, and I’m sure it’s just a COINCIDENCE that all four of these people are AFRICAN AMERICANS!!! Yeah, right!

PPS My family is originally from the St. Louis area. I have 2 older sisters and a brother, who is nine months younger than me.